TromboneChat

I just spend a good 30 minutes formulating a post to the "What is Big Band" thread.
Then I virtually wadded it up in a ball and tossed it.

Why? Because I realized that some of the things I had written might offend someone I deal with in my "real world" life. That person isn't a forum member, but that doesn't mean that someone else who is won't (intentionally or unintentionally) pass some of the my comments on to them.

So now I'm wondering: How much do you self-censor?

A lot, I reread my posts multiple times, write out posts on various topics I don’t post because it feels written too aggressively for the point I’m trying to make which isn’t aggressive at all…

I heavily censor myself out of respect for the multiple participants in this forum as I don’t want to dim any voices or make it feel as if someone’s viewpoint should be diminished no matter how much I may not agree with it…

In the end I can only take responsibility for my own actions and words…

I think it's pretty clear to those who read my posts that I have no filter whatsoever. Everything I post is entirely stream of consciousness based. Yeah, sometimes I say something incredibly stupid that I immediately regret, or don't communicate well, and I have occasionally inadvertently offended someone. I certainly hope I've apologized and been forgiven when that has occurred. I can be kind of tone deaf in that way.

But I just can't spend 30 minutes writing a post. I have only two working brain cells and by the time I'm done, I will have forgotten what the heck I was trying to say, anyway, and would probably wad it up and toss it! So, if I think it, I say it. I've made a fool of myself here several times. But I am a fool, and am comfortable being one on occasion. I could certainly benefit from self-censorship. But honestly, I've had to do that so much in my earlier life that I lost who I was, and now that I'm old and retired I have the luxury of living my life openly and honestly, and that's how I try to post.

tbdana wrote: ↑Wed Mar 12, 2025 11:07 am But honestly, I've had to do that so much in my earlier life that I lost who I was, and now that I'm old and retired I have the luxury of living my life openly and honestly, and that's how I try to post.

That’s my problem…I’m still there. Maybe in a few years I’ll be much more open to having an opinion again…but it’s not a luxury I’m quite at yet.

My natural inclinations can be a rather dry, sarcastic in irony, but more often sardonic due to my experiences which have created quite a good deal of cynicism in my personality. None of this is helpful or encouraging…so censorship is one of the tools I’m using to create a more positive attitude as a self improvement method…

Words mean things. I strive to have my words convey as much as possible in an easy-to-understand idea on as many levels as possible. I routinely edit, rewrite, re-read, and repeat as often as I feel is necessary. It usually takes me quite some time to formulate my posts before I even type the first letter of the first word. Sometimes I'll put my ideas into my subconscious and unconscious thought, and return to a subject at a later time. There always comes a point at which I say: "Screw it! Enough already!" and I hit "Submit". For example, 18 minutes into this post, I am about to click "Submit".

This is quite a good question!

I find that as I've gotten older and stupider, I tend to self-censor more. Sometimes it's really tempting to write a diatribe on a stubborn nostril hair that just won't quit, but then again, who wants to read that?

But mostly, it's because of awareness that online posts are ALWAYS tied to my "personal" professional brand, and that's important to cultivate. Not just for personal pride, but professional networking and even gigging.

I actually rarely post for this very reason.

I also think that my musical experiences are so vanilla that I don’t think I add much to most of the conversations. Or if I were to offer advice, it probably wouldn’t be useful because I never had a really difficult playing challenges that I needed to (or did) overcome.

Additionally I tend to sound a little abrupt in the written word. Better for me to just lurk.

And after writing that I realized it was a jumbled mess and didn’t communicate what I intended so I edited it twice even though I didn’t want to spend the more time on it.

I type about three posts for every one I actually post. I generally read them over and if it isn’t adding anything that I would find interesting reading, I can it.

Posting this just for solidarity,
Andy

Given my history of writing in several disciplines, I constantly self-edit for clarity and relevance. It's an unbreakable habit. You'll notice that I typically even correct truly minor and insignificant spelling and punctuation mistakes, which results in all the "last edited ..." lines in many of my postings. I wouldn't call this "censoring" my own posts, but it may have the same effect.

I was going to post something here, but I deleted it.

I find two good filters are "would I say the words I am writing to someone's face," and "to what extent can I be misunderstood in writing?"

Cuts down on my posts by a good 75%.

Self-censor? Certainly more than 75%. Self-edit? All the time. Then again, I know there have been posts I probably should have thought a little bit longer before clicking submit.

JTeagarden wrote: ↑Thu Mar 13, 2025 6:27 am
I find two good filters are "would I say the words I am writing to someone's face," and "to what extent can I be misunderstood in writing?"

elmsandr wrote: ↑Wed Mar 12, 2025 7:12 pm
I generally read them over and if it isn’t adding anything that I would find interesting reading, I can it.

Three good filters.

JTeagarden wrote: ↑Thu Mar 13, 2025 6:27 am "to what extent can I be misunderstood in writing?"

On the internet that amount is boundless, in large part due to deliberate, intentional, malicious misinterpretation.

Rather than think "who might I offend", I prefer to think, "how does this extend/deepen the discussion". Avoiding offense is a recipe for threads where nobody says anything meaningful.

(waits anxiously for that to be intentionally misinterpreted...)

One filter I do use is, "is this too f*cking long?". If yes, I'm not leaving enough space for others to contribute.

tbdana wrote: ↑Wed Mar 12, 2025 11:07 am I am a fool, and am comfortable being one on occasion.

This is the gift of aging! The young are generally unaware that they are fools, and when they become aware, are very uncomfortable.

The thing most of us learn as we age is this: we are all fools.

Yes, but some of us revel in it more than others.

I self-censor so much that about 75% of my posts end up being deleted after I spend 20 or 30 minutes typing them. Most of the time I decide to investigate the matter on my own instead of dealing with over-simplified answers or answers that steer the topic in a different direction. Then again, I have been guilty of steering other topics in a new direction……so I should probably just post my thoughts and be tolerant of tangents if they occur.