Hilarious Amazon trombone listings

[ghmerrill]

This site doesn't have a "Comedy" forum, so I guess this is the best place for what I just stumbled across on Amazon:

"TSTS trombone kit Professionsal ..."
https://www.amazon.com/TSTS-trombone-Pr ... 9033&psc=1

"TSTS Professional Bass Trombone Instrument Double Piston ..."
https://www.amazon.com/TSTS-trombone-Pr ... 9033&psc=1

Just reading the text of these should make your day. It's not clear to me what the differences are between the two models (and what might justify the price difference), but the first is listed as "Style Professional" and the second as "Style Modern" .

You really have to wonder how much attention Amazon is devoting to its listings nowadays. But the comedic relief is great. They each have the "30-day refund/replacement" condition. I'm tempted to order the cheap one just to see what I'd get -- but probably won't.

[BGuttman]

I just want to know how they can ship me a double valve bass trombone in Manchester NH for $1.49.

Also, first one is identified as a violin.

[ghmerrill]

Possibly a slow boat to Portsmouth and then a mule team to Manchester. I think that's how I got my Wessex tuba some years ago from China through Southampton and then to the US. I could track it in the containerized ships.

But okay ... so for these trombones there may be some inaccurate estimates of shipping costs and some minor issues with nomenclature. But it looks like a really great deal. I know I've seen pictures of that model horn somewhere recently, but I can't quite place it or find it with Google image searches.

[Mr412]

It's possible that to some extent, what we read on the listing is a Japanese concept in merchandising translated to English. But from the quality of products I have received through Amazon, manufactured and shipped directly to me from Japan, I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was a decent-playing horn. My experience with Japanese-manufactured items has been that they can be pretty high in quality. I know this has not always been the case. But it isn't the 60's any more. And if Amazon lists it as basically free shipping, then that's what it is. Go ahead and buy the horn and tell us what you think. Amazon is also pretty generous with their return policy!

[ghmerrill]

It would be very odd for a Japanese company to be doing business out of China.

[AtomicClock]

The sound is strong and full of Dunhuang feeling, the sound is deep and powerful, more expressive

I guess we don't give praise with "Teutonic" any more.

[Mr412]

Oops. Or China. Some Chinese-made horns are also pretty playable. Which ones is the question. Anyway, true about extreme low-cost shipping if that's what Amazon lists. I expect a full report on my desk about their playability in two weeks.

[ghmerrill]

I expect a full report on my desk about their playability in two weeks.

Yeah, unfortunately I have a poor history of responding to micro-managment of any sort (or maybe it's just management in general). Plus, the Chinese bass trombone I've been playing for the past ten years is sufficiently good that I don't really need another horn. So if I want to upgrade, I need to be sure that it will really be an upgrade and not just some shiny new object.

[ghmerrill]

I guess we don't give praise with "Teutonic" any more.

Perhaps we do indirectly. It's been a few years since I heard that the valves and valve clusters in major brands of German tubas were being made in China. Perhaps we need to think in terms of "Sino-Teutonic".

[Mr412]

No Christmas bonus for you. Lol. So, is that Chinese horn you mentioned playing a Dillon's bass, by any chance?

[ghmerrill]

No, it's the one in my signature -- the Schiller "American Heritage" 7B clone.

But ... The first thing I did when I got it was to have the lead pipe pulled, and now it has an M/K nickel MK50 lead pipe in it (for big band). Just recently it got an Instrument Innovations "Gb saddle assembly" to replace the cheesy original one that was loosey-goosey. Not the highest quality around, but it plays well for me. Original cost was $580 delivered to my door. The price has gone up of course -- now $639+shipping (https://jimlaabsmusicstore.com/store/sc ... -trombone/).